On Bad Bakes

Curdled batter, broken chocolate, over-proofed bread, and overbeaten egg whites. A cake that collapsed in the middle. Pastry dough that refused to comply. Batter that went over the tin and created a gloopy mess at the bottom of the oven.

One more try and then, another and again. But nothing delicious emerges from the oven. Just a pile of dirty tins and mixing bowls in the sink, and expensive ingredients that go down the bin time and time again.

Baking brings me both comfort and anxiety. I seek the repetitive steps of mixing eggs, sugar, butter, and flour to escape the mundanities of real life. But sometimes, even the simplest steps of a basic snacking cake can give me a panic attack. Yes, I’m one of those people who have cried over burnt crust and soggy bottoms.

I remember the very first cake I baked. It came out seriously undercooked in the middle, a pool of pure custard encased within a pseudo-sponge layer. My late grandma refused to throw the disaster away and gobbled the entire 23cm monstrosity down. I stopped baking after that. Failure (and that cake) was literally hard to swallow.

It’s been almost 19 years since then. I decided to pick the whisk and spatula up only a couple years back. A few things have changed. I have proper equipment to play with, a professional-pastry-chef sister to turn to, and the internet at the tip of my fingers. The only thing that remained a constant is a willing party to eat all my bad bakes (poor J).

I like to say that I’m not a natural baker. Or a cook, gardener, florist, or homemaker for that matter. In my family, we call it a “feeling” – that someone has a sixth sense on when to add salt or how much spices to throw in, almost like they were born to be master chefs. I lack that in the kitchen. And I do not posses a green thumb in the garden. If anything, I’m just very hardworking at my hobbies.

Then, why is an amateur baker writing a blog, you might ask. (I do ask myself that a lot of times.) I certainly am not an authority on all things flour, butter, and sugar. But I am very persistent. And this is my space to grow and hopefully, be better at what I love. And maybe, that’s more than enough. B